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User blog:VicVague/Personal Opinion of each Boss
No Chalice Dungeons Cleric Beast I love hitting you a lot, but then you have a bad habit of hitting me back. This is highly unnecessary, please stop. Father Gascoigne Don't charge me, since your just going to get outmanuvered and outdamaged until you go 3rd phase on me and combo the fuck out of me. cunt. Vicar Amelia Stop screaming, you are literally louded than my mother. You hit hard but are very punishable. Also why do I do no damage to you? You have thinner limbs than kids in Africa and the middle east, yet you have the health and endurance of Moby Dick with steel armor. Witches of Hemwick Fuck off with the grab spells. Your Mad Ones are blind as moles and you are not worthy of their service, because they look sick as hell. Martyr Logarius Easy to dodge his arcane spells and scythe, but his sword slices are a little bit harder. He is very vulnerable to parrying so you should be doing plenty of that, or you will be arcane blasted to death. Shadows of Yharnam You think that because there is three of you that I will die? No, you are still really easy to dodge and beat up. Your snakes aren't a threat either, because they always pop up, get evaded easily and feel pretty silly about it. Blood-Starved Beast Stop with the grab attack, jesus christ. Your poison is also mildy devastating, but managable. Rom, the Vacuous Spider I wish you were a cult leader so your followers would cough up their blood on the floor and die. You do the meteors too often, you should relax a bit. The One Reborn Put up an offence and you will maybe have what it takes to be a threat. Your Bell-Witches are a minor threat as I just climb the staircase and beat them into oblivion. Micolash, Host of the Nightmare Keep running, that just means I'll cheese you into oblivion with poison and the cannon. Your puppets should sit the fuck down and stop hitting as hard as they do. Mergo's Wet Nurse Nice combos, fluidity and such, but next time you should actually do something that will hit me. Btw, what are you weak to? Darkbeast Paarl Fuck your AOE. I love the sounds you make and you are visually spectacular. Still though; fuck your AOE Amygdala Fuck this boss. Fuck this hairy testicle face piece of corroding horse shit and fuck his dumbass slam attack. I hope he gets sickle celling so his fucking limbs break off. Amygala should slam it's head into the ground until it cracks open like a coconut and the blood spills out like a candy suprise. Amygdala is easily my hardest boss. Ludwig, the Accursed Your pretty cool and really hard. I have never been kicked in the face by a horse, but this is a good representation. (I actaully now want to see Reddit gore vids about people getting kicked to death by horses, one second...) Lady Maria of the Astral Clocktower Your hot and too easy. I don't wanna kill you, so I'll just knock you out. Lawrence the First Vicar Why are you so hard on everyone, but so nice to me??? Apparently this guy eats more hot sauce than me because he is having some intense bowel enflamation. Orphan of Kos I would love to shoot a breeze with this guy, watch the sunset with him and then shoot him in the back of the head. He deserves it anyway. Living Failures By whos standards? By whos standards are you Failures, sure you failed to become great ones, but you became something else. Nevermind, they are failures, but it isn't their fault in theory. Gehrman, the First Hunter Gehrman is a good final boss, who is really good at punsihing greedy hunters, so you have to hang back and parry to win. Gehrman is very easy to dodge in both phases, and you should wait for the shotgun and 1 handed phase to parry his longer combos. Moon Prensence Easy to dodge and he is kinda easy to punish if your fast and agressive. Never try to more aggressive than him though, because he will win every time. If you are unlucky (or ass at this game) and get hit by his version of numbing mist, then you should only dodge. If you can't heal and he does the 1hp AOE, then rally is your best friend. Category:Blog posts